Diplomats at British embassies and consulates around the world are flooded with mad requests by idiots and time wasters, according to a report from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO).
FCO staff have helped countless numbers of Brits in times of trouble by replacing travel documents, transferring money and providing support for victims of rape and crime.
The even help people who are ill or in hospital and can provide a list of interpreters, doctors and lawyers for those who are in trouble.
However, the FCO stresses that they cannot help expats pay their bills, arrange travel, give money or get people out of prison or even investigate crimes.
That doesn’t stop people contacting them with silly questions and demands which have been detailed in the report.
Outrageous demands
While FCO staff have helped more than 52,000 British nationals in the past year in difficulties overseas they say that some inquiries, while being good natured, still take them away from helping people in genuine distress.
Among the more outrageous demands was for FCO staff to silence a noisy cockerel, help buy Olympic tickets and provide Sir Paul McCartney’s contact details.
Staff have also been asked to translate an Italian phrase for a tattoo and help a woman in Beijing, China, make a complaint about the poor quality football boots she had bought.
Among the more bizarre requests is a demand from a woman in Tel Aviv, Israel, that staff order her husband to get into shape so they can have children and diplomats in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, had a request to help pay for a family’s children to attend an international school.
Hotel bookings
One cheeky man in Stockholm, Sweden, even asked consulate staff to check out a woman he had met online while the more common requests include asking where the best places to watch UK football matches are and for consulate staff to book hotels.
The Minister for Consular Affairs, Mark Simmonds, said: “Our consulates receive more than a million enquiries every year so it’s important that people appreciate what we can and cannot do to support them abroad.
“We can help people facing real problems overseas but we cannot make travel arrangements or social plans.”
“Our staff help people who’ve been crime victims, those who have lost a relative and arrested Britons. We will continue to support those who need our help in years to come.”
